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aintnohallabackgirl:

i almost hit a deer today while i was driving with my friend my first instinct was to say “oh deer” beFORE I EVEN APPLIED THE BRAKES I LITERALLY ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF A PUN

(via snorlaxatives)

thelordofthebuttz:

two, four, six, eight
i really wanna go on a date

(via lesbiansgetitdone)

fratdouche2point0:

dude: you smoke?
me:

(via punkes-t)

civilisationsofpurethought:

thesickestjokes:

I left 3 notes scattered around the house earlier for my girlfriend.
They said “Will”, “you” and “me”.
That’ll keep her busy whilst I watch sports.

are you satan

(via set--myself--on--fire)

olympains:

maybe i can watch this hour long episode in ten minutes

(via crrocs)

bootye:

when you’re listening to a fall out boy song for like the hundredth time and you finally realize what he’s saying

(Source: princesstump, via winstonchurchilled)

mermaidsandmisandry:

“some scientists agree”. what does that mean. some scientists. that could be two  scientists. two scientists agree. two agreeable scientists isnt very credible. do it again. more scientists.

(Source: misandrywhale, via daeneerystargaryen)